https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog daily 0.75 2026-04-30 https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83-aky4m-dwd96-el7k7-mfsby-rjkyj-7hgyr monthly 0.5 2026-05-01 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/57097b9e-566e-4be8-a21c-482e11cdde0c/IMG_6308.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - How to Talk to Your Partner About Attachment Patterns If you’ve just discovered attachment theory. The lightbulb has flickered to life above you. You see your pattern. You see theirs. You finally have a language for the thing that has been derailing your relationship for years. Now what? How do you bring this up without sounding like you're diagnosing them? Without starting another fight? Without them feeling attacked or pathologised? This is the skill no one teaches you: how to talk about relationship patterns with your partner, not at them. Here's your script. Step 1: Check Your Timing (Seriously) Do not start this conversation: During or immediately after an argument When either of you is tired, hungry, stressed, or rushing In bed, right before sleep In public Do start this conversation: On a weekend morning, with time and space On a walk (side-by-side conversation is less threatening than face-to-face) After you've both eaten and slept What to say: "Hey, I've been reading something interesting about relationships. I'd love to talk about it with you when you have some space. Maybe Saturday morning over coffee?" This gives them warning. No ambushes. Step 2: Own Your Pattern First The single biggest mistake people make is leading with their partner's behaviour. Don'tDo"You always shut down when I try to talk.""I've noticed that I tend to chase when things get hard. I think I have an anxious pattern.""You're so avoidant.""I think I might have an anxious attachment style. I'm learning about it.""Here's what you're doing wrong.""Can I share something I've learned about myself?" Why this works: When you own your half first, you create safety. You're not pointing a finger. You're inviting them into curiosity alongside you. What to say: "I've been learning about something called attachment theory. I think I might have an anxious pattern – which explains why I panic when you get quiet. I wanted to share it with you, not because you're doing anything wrong, but because I understand myself better now." Step 3: Use "We" and "Pattern" Language, Not "You" The goal is to externalise the problem. It's not you vs. them. It's both of you vs. the pattern. Instead ofTry"You withdraw""We have this dance where one of us chases and one of us withdraws""You're needy""Our pattern seems to be that we both get scared – just in different ways""You need to change""I wonder if we could learn a different way of fighting together" What to say: "The more I read, the more I saw us in it. Not in a bad way. Just... oh, that's why we get stuck. That's the pattern. It's not your fault or mine. It's just what we learned." Step 4: Ask, Don't Assume You think you know your partner's pattern. But let them tell you. Ask: "When I get quiet, what goes on for you?" "When I chase, what do you feel?" "What did you learn about needing help when you were young?" Don't diagnose. Don't label. Just listen. What to say: "I have some ideas about my own pattern, but I don't want to assume yours. Can I ask you something? When we argue and I [your behaviour], what happens inside you?" Step 5: Invite, Don't Insist Your partner may not be ready for this conversation. They may dismiss it. They may get defensive. That's okay. You cannot force someone to look at their attachment patterns. You can only offer a framework and hope they're curious. If they shut it down: "Okay, no pressure. It's just something I'm finding helpful for understanding myself. The offer to talk about it more is always there." If they're curious: "Would you be open to learning a bit more together? There's a short quiz online, or I could find a video that explains it better than I can." What If They Refuse to Engage? This is hard. You've done your work. You've approached gently. And they still won't look. Ask yourself: Is the pattern safe enough to stay in? (No abuse, just avoidance) Can I do my half of the work without them doing theirs? (Sometimes, one person changing can shift the whole dynamic) What's my boundary if nothing changes? (Couples therapy? Individual therapy for you? A decision about staying?) You cannot heal a relationship alone. But you can heal your half. And sometimes, that's enough to invite them in. If it's not – that's what couples therapy is for. A neutral third party can name patterns that feel too dangerous for either of you to name alone. A Sample Script Here's one way this conversation could sound: "Hey, can I share something with you? I've been reading about attachment theory – it's basically about how the way we learned to get comfort as kids affects how we relate as adults. And honestly, I think I have an anxious pattern. That's why I panic when you go quiet. I'm not saying you're doing anything wrong – I'm just understanding myself better. I also noticed that we have this dance where I chase and you withdraw. It's not your fault. It's our pattern. And I'd love for us to figure out a different way together – not because something's broken, but because I love you and I want our fights to be less painful. I don't need an answer right now. Just... think about it? Maybe we could look at a quiz together sometime?" No accusations. No blame. Just curiosity, ownership, and an invitation. If You Get Stuck, Get Help Some couples can shift these patterns on their own. Many can't – not because they don't love each other, but because the patterns are too fast, too automatic, too wired. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83-aky4m-dwd96-el7k7-mfsby-rjkyj monthly 0.5 2026-04-30 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/41b4e1b3-6d7a-4681-aa01-faaf68533940/IMG_6372.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog -  That Fight Wasn't About the Dishes: Understanding Attachment Patterns in Relationships You know the feeling. You're tired. You walk in the door. They make a comment about something small the recycling, the washing up, why you didn't reply to a text. And within minutes, you're in a full-blown argument about... what, exactly? Not the recycling. Never the recycling. Underneath the surface fight is a much smaller, sadder question that neither of you knows how to ask: *"Do you still see me? Do I matter? Are we safe?"* If this sounds familiar, you're not broken. Your relationship isn't failing. You might just be bumping into something psychologists call attachment patterns—the invisible blueprints for how we love, fight, and seek safety. And the good news? Once you see them, you can change them. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83-aky4m-dwd96-el7k7-mfsby monthly 0.5 2026-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/e51a92dd-d84c-43ff-ad12-920088852c60/IMG_5975.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - Your Brain's Stories Aren't Facts: 5 Kind Ways to Untangle From Unhelpful Thoughts Let me guess. Your mind has been running a commentary today that sounds something like: "You're messing up again. Everyone can tell you're struggling. You should be coping better by now." Sound familiar? Here's the thing I've learned as a psychologist with ADHD: your mind is a storyteller, not a news reporter. It spins stories to keep you safe but those stories aren't always true. And when you're navigating menopause and ADHD together, the stories get louder. Hot flush? "Something's wrong with you." Brain fog? "You're losing it." Tired? "You're lazy." Instead of fighting your thoughts or believing them blindly, you can learn to unhook from them. To notice them as mental events not commands you have to follow. So how do you actually start unhooking from unhelpful thoughts? Here are five gentle, practical strategies. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83-aky4m-dwd96-el7k7 monthly 0.5 2026-04-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/39266ce9-8dc6-48e8-8034-a74f6e4d342b/IMG_6176.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - When Feelings Feel Like Too Much: 3 Gentle Ways to Make Space Let's be honest. When life feels like a , your feelings don't just show up they arrive. Hot flushes come with a side of irritability. Brain fog brings a wave of shame. Exhaustion drags along a heavy blanket of "I can't do this anymore." And your natural instinct? Fight it. Fix it. Make it stop. Here's what I've learned as a psychologist with ADHD: fighting your feelings doesn't make them go away. It just makes them louder. It's about learning to make space for them so they stop running the show. And the research backs this up. A large meta-analysis found that ACT is an effective intervention for reducing psychological distress and improving wellbeing. Another meta-analysis showed ACT significantly improves anxiety, depression, and psychological flexibility with benefits that stick around even after treatment ends. Even specifically for menopausal women, studies show ACT-based counselling can significantly improve mood, reduce anxiety and depression, and enhance quality of life across vasomotor, psychosocial, sexual, and physical domains. So how do we actually do that? Here are three gentle, practical ways to start making space for your feelings without fighting them. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83-aky4m-dwd96 monthly 0.5 2026-04-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/b0fac73d-16f5-465e-9628-025aaf624e57/IMG_5981.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - The Biology of the 2-4 AM Wake-Up: The Dressle et al. (2022) Meta-Analysis A comprehensive meta-analysis by Dressle and colleagues, published in the journal Sleep Medicine Reviews, synthesized data from 20 high-quality case-control studies. It included 449 patients with chronic insomnia and 357 healthy "good sleeper" controls. The findings are clear: Patients with chronic insomnia show moderately but significantly elevated cortisol levels (SMD = 0.50, 95% CI: [0.21–0.80]). But here's the key: This isn't a problem of sleep deprivation. The study confirmed that insomnia is actually a disorder of 24-hour hyperarousal. The brain is "stuck in on," and this includes the body's stress system. This finding explains why you wake up at 2 a.m. wired. It's because your body's HPA axis (hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis) the central command center for your stress response is operating at a higher baseline than it should. The result? Your internal alarm clock is set too early and rings too loudly. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83-aky4m-dwd96-a22xf monthly 0.5 2026-04-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/ec0282e4-5e88-45c9-bff9-fb98a195c5c9/IMG_6184.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - A trip to a garden might be the Best Vitamin D supplement you you can get It's not just in your head: A major 2025 study of nearly 500,000 people found that living near parks and gardens is directly linked to healthier vitamin D levels." For those of us in Northern Europe, where the winter sun is too weak to help, this isn't a minor issue. The same study highlights that greenspace may be a key public health tool to combat widespread deficiency. This is a perfect example of how our environment acts as a health modifier. It's not about one magic pill, but about how our surroundings shape our daily habits and, ultimately, our biology https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83-aky4m monthly 0.5 2026-04-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/cd792277-fa85-4b1b-b24f-871663b99539/IMG_6111.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - Why Your Nightcap Might Be Keeping You Up at Night There’s a certain cultural script many of us know by heart. After a long, stressful day, you pour a glass of wine or mix a drink to "take the edge off" and help you drift off to sleep. It feels relaxing, almost medicinal. But what if that nightly ritual is actually making things worse? New, comprehensive research reveals that while alcohol might help you fall asleep faster, it secretly sabotages the most restorative parts of your sleep, leaving you more vulnerable to stress the next day. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4-xan83 monthly 0.5 2026-04-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/00f4db01-0962-4314-be5a-512433e33055/IMG_7877.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - Lifting Weights, Lifting Brain Fog: Why Strength Training Might Be for you Its not about becoming jacked its about letting your body work like it is supposed to, controlled, careful movement till exhaustion of specific muscle groups is amazingly chill. A comprehensive 2026 review published in the International Journal of Gynecology & Obstetrics (Khadilkar and colleagues) confirms what so many women experience: the hormonal shifts of menopause particularly the drop in oestrogen directly affect memory, attention, and executive function. The same review (click here) offers a clear, practical, and surprisingly powerful solution. Strength training. Let's talk about why picking up something heavy might be one of the best things you can do for your brain. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7-5tzr4 monthly 0.5 2026-04-20 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/d75e0be8-b840-4fa9-819f-18fae570713d/IMG_5295.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - Three Small Acts of Kindness for when it all gets a bit hectic When you’re in the middle of a hot flush, a wave of anxiety, or that heavy, lead‑blanket exhaustion that seems to come from nowhere, it’s natural to want it to stop. But fighting it often makes it worse like trying to push a beach ball underwater. Here’s a different approach, gently lay a hand on the part of your body where you feel the discomfort most intensely. Maybe it’s your chest, your belly, your forehead. Don’t press. Just rest it there, like a warm, steady presence. Now imagine that this is a healing hand. Not in a magical, “make it disappear” way—more like the hand of a friend who knows exactly how you feel and isn’t trying to fix you. Let some warmth flow from your palm into that area. Not to get rid of the sensation, but to soften around it. To make room. To say, without words, “I know this is hard. I’m here with you.” This is kindness in its most physical form. You’re not abandoning yourself. You’re showing up. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz-c6nk7 monthly 0.5 2026-03-25 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/481437a3-c895-4cae-9075-f0475ac32658/IMG_5218.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - 5 Ways to Stop Fighting Your Feelings (And Start Living the Life You Want ) - Advise from me, support from Pistachio Croissant :) If you’re navigating perimenopause or menopause or ADHD, your internal world can feel like a chaotic house party where nobody’s in charge. One minute you’re sweating through your shirt, the next you’re crying at a dog food commercial, and somewhere in between your brain decides to hide your keys, your phone, and your ability to form a sentence. It’s exhausting. And the natural instinct? Fight it. Fix it. Make it stop. But here’s the plot twist: fighting your feelings doesn’t make them go away. It just makes them louder. So, whether you’re dealing with hot flushes that feel like your internal thermostat is on holiday, brain fog that makes you forget your own birthday, or moods that swing faster than a Galway wind, these five strategies will help you stop the fight and start moving toward what matters. https://www.yougotthisgalway.com/blog/Blog Post Title One-3zaa9-zlxng-skzj5-jzl9l-tkpxz monthly 0.5 2026-03-21 https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/6970e31dcf65ea24db3d5d6d/3167613f-46c9-4f30-b942-05986d6a4c68/IMG_4957.jpeg ADHD and Menopause Blog - When Menopause Meets ADHD: Why You Deserve More Than Just “Understanding” - Advise from me, support from Shadow :) If you’re navigating perimenopause or menopause and you also have ADHD, you might feel like your brain and your body are speaking two different languages and no one gave you a translator. Hot flushes interrupt your focus, brain fog makes your executive function feel like it’s on strike, and the emotional ups and downs can crank up rejection sensitivity to eleven. Then, on top of all that, you might look around and wonder: Why does it feel so lonely? Why doesn’t my partner seem to get it? Why do I feel like I’m failing? A recent study published in Feminism & Psychology (Hayfield, Moore, & Terry, 2024) gives voice to exactly these kinds of experiences. As a psychologist who specialises in ADHD (and who has ADHD myself), I read this paper and thought: This is it. 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